The Invitation, a book about Christian coaching, has made the biggest impact on me this year. I am a practicing Christian and wanted to learn about how I can use coaching with Christian coachees. Stoltzfus runs an ICF-accredited coaching school and another one of his books, Leadership Coaching, is about coaching more generally. However, The Invitation is a book specifically about a Christian model of personal change. My biggest takeaway was how to incorporate prayer into coaching.
Stoltzfus lists sixteen psychological desires: see them in the image below (image source).
When my coachee is talking about something that I suspect is related to a deep desire, I explore to find the desire that is beneath the surface, and then choose a prayer question that asks Jesus how he has already been filling that desire.
For example, I was working with a woman whose family circumstances have changed and she found herself anxious about the future. I asked some questions to explore further what she is really seeking; a sense of peace, rest, acceptance, and purpose. After further delving, she decided that acceptance was what she was most keenly desiring. I suggested we pause and she ask a question in prayer: “Jesus, what do you like about me?” I asked her to ask the question and then sit quietly for 30 to 60 seconds and see what she heard, sensed, felt, or thought.
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